| 7/20/2010 | |
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WeWrite Poems
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Automatic for the Poetry
July 15, 2010
Swift Descent
Swift Descent © Copyright C. R. Stone 2010
above the mountains final eclipse
as flurries composed a blanket of
deceit for the children of innocents.
eyes cloaked, mascots exalted-
candied limbs, fluffy cotton.
stained lips, false promises,
we disbarred.
full punishment-
death below a swifting owl,
as our lifeless hair lingered
along a river flowing like linen,
and yet, so will the souls of wolves
whose hunger will feed tearing sins,
into scattered images of war.
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8 comments:
this was dark and edgy, with angry, violent trappings -- and very engaging work... a powerful write...
...rob
powerful, powerful writing. very strong images throughout. have a great day.
I liked the 'death below a swifting owl' and the dark images of sin and war in contrast to the previous images of 'candied limbs, fluffy cotton.' Bravo!
Swift Descent, yes, it is not a casual relationship we encounter here (and take that as you will, broadly so). Well imaged here. Life is also consequence. Very strong emotionally. And it grows with rereading too.
don't quite understand the mascots, but I really like "death below a swifting owl"
Strong and harsh. Your images stand out against each other in startling contrast, bringing greater clarity to each. Great writing, here! ~Brenda
Strong and harsh. Your images stand out against each other in startling contrast, bringing greater clarity to each. Great writing, here! ~Brenda
Thank you all for sharing your thoughts.
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